Yesterday was a great day. Birthdays usually are. So when I went to bed last night, still unsure of what I would write for the blog when I woke up today, a thought popped in my mind. You’re 39 years old so write 39 things you learned over the past year, I thought to myself. No! That’ll be too hard — I can’t possibly come up with 39 things, I countered. Then I thought, Exactly. Nobody said writing would be easy. (I apparently like having argumentative conversations with myself). Anyways, here’s 39 things I learned over the past year. It’s a long one. Apologies.
- When your kids ask for a piggy-back ride, try to say yes. Your body’s tired and your knees will hurt, but you’ll miss these days when they’re gone.
- Losing a job is hard, but losing someone you love is much, much harder. Your job doesn’t define you. Your relationships are what define you.
- How you wait on God matters even more than the thing you’re waiting for.
- Prayers are usually answered only after you’ve learned what you’re supposed to learn. So stop asking when, and start asking why.
- Sometimes, standing up to bullies requires nothing more than confidently standing your ground for what you believe in. Because courage doesn’t always roar.
- Failure doesn’t have to be fatal. Sometimes — no, most times — it gives you the chance to succeed at the right thing.
- Doing the right thing is never the wrong thing. Pray for direction, be bold, and let the chips fall where they may.
- If you care about people, get better at remembering names.
- If you want to be interesting, be interested. Listen with the intent to understand, not to reply.
- Time spent with a child is never time wasted.
- While writing nonfiction books was comfortable, writing novels scared the crap out of me. And that’s why I knew it was what I had to do.
- No matter what your ‘day job’ is — if you have a hidden talent — you have a responsibility to get better at it. And then you must share it with the world.
- Tell people what you’re passionate about. I wrote books for a year before I ever told most of my family or friends. It’s not being egotistical. It’s being vulnerable. They’ll love you for it.
- There’s a big difference between a boss and a leader.
- Be careful who you work for. If they lack integrity, your workplace will be toxic. Understand that, given enough time and exposure, we all adjust to the dark. That’s a dangerous thing.
- Don’t vote against someone. Vote for someone. And most importantly, vote your conscience. Not everyone will agree with your decision. Love them anyway.
- Don’t compare yourself to anyone other than the person you used to be.
- Visit your parents, even if it’s inconvenient. I almost skipped seeing my dad last Christmas. 72 hours later, he was in the hospital. A week later, he was gone. FIND THE TIME.
- Ask your parents questions about their lives. Have them tell their favorite stories, even if you’ve heard them a hundred times. Take notes. You’ll want to remember them one day.
- The best present you can give someone this Christmas is your presence. Leave your cell phone locked away in the car. Life can’t be lived by looking through a 4-inch screen.
- One of the best ways for dealing with losing your father is to try to be a good father yourself.
- You don’t need cable as much as you think you do. Cut the cord and start reading all of those books you say you never have time for.
- You don’t need to check Facebook as often as you think you do (except if it’s your birthday — then you should check that thing all day long).
- Being a friend is inconvenient. Sometimes it means dropping everything you’re doing to go and help them. You’ll be glad you did the next time you find yourself needing help.
- If someone is down on their luck, give them a call. Ask how they’re doing. Take them out to breakfast. Pay for their meal. Do it again. They’ll remember your kindness.
- You have a personal brand. We all do. So if you say you’re going to do something, do it. Because people forget the promises you make, but they don’t forget the promises you break.
- Read the obituaries once in a while. Learning about how people lived their lives can motivate you to want to get up and do something amazing with your own life.
- Published is better than perfect. Our projects are never really finished, just abandoned. Learn to discern when it’s time to abandon a project and move on to the next adventure.
- A ship in harbor is safe, but that’s not what it’s built for. If you don’t do what you were created to do, your work will never bring a smile to someone’s face or change their heart.
- Writing a thank you note to your parents for everything you’re thankful for, and handing it to them to read with you, is something you’ll never regret and will always remember.
- If you ever get sucked into one of those ‘pay it forward’ things in the Starbucks drive-thru, always pay for the guy behind you, even if their order is ridiculous. Don’t break the chain.
- You will always have haters and people who aren’t fans of yours. If you don’t, you’re not doing something right.
- Being a superdad is less about ability and more about the choices we make with our kids. (As I wrote that, I just yelled at my son for being loud when his brother is sleeping. Oops.)
- If you’re lucky, you’ll find a good friend to share life with; if you’re even luckier, you’ll find that friend to be your wife. Never underestimate the value of having a good, supportive wife!!!
- You are an artist. Whatever it is you create in your day-to-day life, that is your art. Not everyone will get your art. That’s okay. Just shrug your shoulders and say, “it’s not for you.”
- Send someone a text today thanking them for something they’ve done for you. Because a grateful heart is a magnet for miracles.
- Gratitude also has a really bad memory and tends to forgive and forget. So if you’ve hurt someone, send them a text, too. There’s only two words you’ll need to write.
- Creating a list of what you’ve learned over the past year will reveal things to you that you never may have given much thought to before. One of the joys of writing. You should try it.
- Writing this blog every week is hard. Really hard. But I’m finding that it’s good for my soul.