I almost didn’t write this post today. Not because I overslept. Not because I had writer’s block.
I almost didn’t write this morning because my blog was down. With bleary eyes, desperately waiting on my coffee to brew, and adrenaline starting to flow through me because I only have a few hours until my Saturday morning posts get emailed to my readers, I contacted my hosting company to understand why I was getting a connection timeout error. Tech support told me that they were aware of the problem and were working on it as fast as they could. There was no ETA.
But how will I write my blog? What about my readers who expect a new post today? I thought.
So I almost gave up. I was this close to walking away and saying, Oh well. Nobody will notice. Maybe I’ll just write it tonight or tomorrow or whenever the thing comes back online. But then I remembered something a friend told me once. A memory that comes to mind very often, actually, any time I get myself in a situation like this or have a difficult either/or decision that I have to make.
Think in zebra.
In college, my friend Tony used to tell me this all of the time. Whenever I’d have a tough decision, should I do A or B, Tony would tell me to find a way to do both. “Think in zebra,” he’d say and it annoyed the bejesus out of me. I didn’t like the advice back then. Things seemed to be more black and white to me than my friend could understand. But eventually, I came around and realized that he was right. And when that happened, I started applying the advice to every aspect of my life.
When I wanted to go back to school to check off the goal of getting an MBA, even though I had a newborn and a demanding job that would have been terrific excuses to put my dream on hold, I almost put it off as something to do later when the kids were grown. But instead, my amazing wife offered to watch our son so I could spend hours studying and insisted that I knock it out while I could and I did, taking more credits than I thought I could handle but ended up being just fine.
When my alma mater sent me a rejection letter in the mail, I was devastated. But I thought in zebra and enrolled in East Carolina’s online MBA program instead and I had to laugh when I found out where my testing center was – the business department at the very school that I wanted to attend. What felt like a slap in the face ended up being a blessing in disguise. The proctor happened to be the assistant to the dean and urged me to reapply after a year of straight A’s. I got accepted and graduated a few years ago with that MBA from the school I wanted to go to, UCF. I could have given up when I didn’t get accepted. But I decided to think in zebra and found another way.
When I wanted to become a writer and I read that I’d have to dedicate at least two hours a day learning the craft, I could have given up. I could have said that the only way someone can spend that much time learning a new skill is if they have a cake job, no family, and no outside commitments. Instead, I thought in zebra. How could I do both? That’s when I realized that if I could get to bed two hours early, I could wake up two hours early, and use that time to learn and practice before my day started. (That’s how the idea for my latest book was born, by the way).
Even last night, I wanted to go for a walk, a new habit I’m trying to form to get in shape and spend time thinking, but I also needed to work on edits for my first novel that I’m finishing. Think in zebra, I thought to myself. So I walked a mile instead of two and came back home and edited another chapter before going to bed. I found a way to do both. Thinking in zebra is not my default response when it comes to decision making. Twenty years later, I still tend to forget my friend’s advice.
So here I am. Typing this up in notepad like it’s 1992. And wouldn’t you know it – my Website just came back up. I guess I’ll be able to send you my blog this morning, after all. Right on schedule.
That’s how this works. Stop thinking that decisions have to be A or B. Stop telling yourself there’s no way out of the situations that you find yourself in, no matter how difficult they may seem. There’s always a third option, a way you can do both. You just have to take the time to look for it.
Stop thinking in black and white. Start thinking in zebra.
Thanks, Tony.