“Kenny! There’s a lizard in our bathroom!” aren’t exactly the words you expect to hear from your wife the moment that you get home from a long day at work… or ever, if I’m completely honest.
But that’s what Missy said to me as soon as I walked in the door a few days ago, telling me that a lizard, which happened to be albino – which somehow made it worse – appeared in our home.
We rushed upstairs, tripping on the toys our boys have scattered all over creation, and ran past our bedroom, armed with a dust pan, small broom, and Tupperware container, ready to catch the SOB.
There was only one problem. When we showed up, emboldened with our weapons of choice, ready to fight and capture the saboteur of our peace of mind, the little bugger was gone.
For the next several nights, Missy defiantly slept in our bedroom, adjacent to the bathroom door which she kept shut with towels shoved inside the crack to prevent our prisoner from escaping.
And I uncourageously slept on the couch downstairs, “gaining my strength” and preparing for the next showdown with the little albino wonder hiding somewhere above the room where I lay.
It’s not the first time we’ve been afraid as a couple. And it’s not the last time fear will show up.
That’s because life is crazy and we all struggle with fear in many different ways… in our jobs, in our relationships, with our health… fear likes to show up daily in many forms, shapes, and sizes.
But what we have to remember is that if we want to be people who are courageous, we have to embrace fear. Because courage doesn’t exist without fear. They’re two sides of the same coin.
They say that courage is doing the thing that you’re afraid to do. That it’s impossible to be courageous unless you’re scared. So when you find yourself scared, realize that you’re being given an opportunity to figure out how you can be courageous and do something about the fear.
What I’m finding is that you can short circuit fear when it shows up by following a simple plan:
- Write down all of the things that could happen if the thing you’re afraid of comes true.
- Circle the one thing that scares you the most.
- Then list next to what you circled what you can do right now to prevent or prepare for it.
What you’ll find, I think, is that the worst-case scenario isn’t usually that bad and that by putting on paper your worst fear and what you can do right now to minimize it, you’ll feel better. Unless it’s the fear of having an albino lizard crawl on your face in the middle of the night. That one’s pretty bad.
By writing down the worst thing that can happen by whatever it is that fear is telling you, and listing out what you can do about it right now, you’ll find your courage. And you’ll be prepared for battle.
But if you want to be courageous, you have to act. Like last night when Missy came downstairs with a crazed but determined look in her eyes and calmly said to me, “He’s back. Get the broom.”
We were prepared. We had a plan. And when it came time to act, we were courageous.
You can be, too.
Remember that “courage doesn’t always roar,” as author Mary Anne Radmacher has written.
Sometimes it’s found in the in the quiet determination to stand up against fear.
Usually it’s found when we make a plan to conquer our fear.
But courage is always found when we decide to act. Not in spite of our fear, but because of it.