My favorite story about how to deal with the haters in your life is Abraham Lincoln’s. Years ago, I read about the former president and was shocked when I learned about his early childhood.
His dad hated that Abraham wanted to learn how to read so he could become somebody.
Instead, Thomas Lincoln wanted his son to focus on learning how to use an axe and to become a carpenter, like himself. To use his hands and help make money for the family. But Abraham knew himself even at a young age. He wanted to become educated and go into law. Not carpentry.
So Thomas made fun of his son’s desire to learn. He told him not to read. He picked on him. He said he’d never amount to anything. And when tragedy struck, things got a whole lot worse.
When he was only nine years old, Abraham Lincoln buried his mother after she got sick and passed away in their cabin home. He loved her dearly. They had a very special bond.
She was kind to him and he was very much like her. She loved to read and he loved being read to.
But the day his mother passed away, everything changed for young Abraham. His father made him help build her coffin and bury his mom without a proper funeral. Then his dad left and disappeared.
No explanation. No instructions. No family. No babysitters. Their father abandoned Abraham and left him to take care of himself and his eleven-year-old sister for over a year before he returned.
He was so afraid of his father that when Thomas Lincoln finally came back home and tried to introduce Abraham to his “new mother,” the young boy hid behind some furniture.
Abraham eventually warmed up to her. She had a huge library of books and the boy read everything she had brought. They formed a bond of their own and she encouraged his reading.
Life could have been easier for the boy who became the 16th President of the United States, but ignoring his father was critical to forming the young man to become who he was meant to be.
We have to stop listening to the haters.
We have to stop believing people who tell us that we’ll never make anything of ourselves.
We have to stop listening to people who tell us that we’ll never see our dreams become reality.
We have to realize that the very presence of a hater means that we’re doing something right.
Remember that while our haters are loud, our fans are quiet. We like to focus our energy on the haters but don’t realize that the people who love us the most often speak up the least.
Haters have a burning desire to make us feel terrible, but our fans don’t always have the same desire to make sure we know we’re appreciated. They usually love us from afar. And that’s okay.
We can find haters and critics of our work everywhere, but they usually find us first.
When I received my first one-star review, the critic wrote, “Terrible writing and no real information.” But another critic rated the book five-stars and said it was, “Well-written and very informative.” How can two people read the same book and think it was “well-written” and “terrible” at the same time?
Because some people will love you and others will love to hate you. How do you deal with that?
You learn to not let the compliments go to your head or the criticism go to your heart. That’s how.
What we need to remember is that if we don’t have any haters, people who don’t believe in us and our dreams, then we aren’t doing work that’s relevant. The next time you happen to come across a hater – or more likely, they come across you – realize that they are necessary for your success.
It means you’re doing work that matters.